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I found out my girlfriend's ex was black and
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I never considered myself racist or had anything against African Americans or black people from any country. I grew up around black people and had a few good black friends in college and high school. But yesterday when my girlfriend admitted that her ex-boyfriend was black I couldn't help but feel immediately upset. Its easy to say its no big deal but its DIFFERENT when its your girlfriend. Her ex-boyfriend's race just came up as part of a larger story and I suddenly found myself caught up by it and very angry. While she was telling the story I played with the idea of just ghosting her and never talking to her again. After 1 year together. Its so immature and stupid I know. I ended up not bringing it up, realizing I would come off as a crazy racist insecure guy but my anger spilled into a massive fight about something completely else.
I felt so insecure because the obvious thought about dick size came up and I'm not lacking in that department but my dick isn't 8 inches either. Like I know its just a "stereotype" that black guys are bigger but in college and high school locker rooms all my black friends had substantially larger penises so I'm pretty sure her ex-boyfriend did too. It's really not anything deeper than dick size and sex though, like I don't think she's tainted for dating a black guy or anything like that. It just that it hurts my ego to think that she was with a guy who was bigger down there.
But then I kind of sat with the thought, and realized that while I don't feel great about it, there's nothing I can do it about it. I do love her and she's the best relationship I've been in so far. If she's been with bigger or smaller dicks shouldn't matter to me. It's not like that takes away from us having sex. I think about past girls with skinnier waists or bigger asses or anything things better than her and it doesn't mean I love her any less or am any less turned on having sex with her.
I'm still fluctuating. Like one second I feel completely fine like 'who cares what dick she's had before?' and the next second I feel insecure and gross about it. And then I feel guilty for being racist and caring about something like that. The whole thing is just exhausting and makes me not want to be around her or spend time with her. I loved being around her because she would constantly gush about how attractive I am, and more attractive than other guys she's dated but to think that I fall short in a very important category like that really gets to me in a way I cant describe.
Top Comment: Here’s brutal honesty for you, you have no damn right to be upset about her past or what kind of men she dated or hooked up with. You have every right to be a racist if you choose but what you don’t get to do is make her feel like she did something wrong, because she hasn’t no matter how disgusted you feel over her past sexual relationships. And the fact that your tight because dude is black says a lot about you. You’re insecure and that’s your problem and not hers. Racisms is fucking racism no matter what. Especially when you have to state that you have black friends...
ClipStudio EX screen going black frequently in the middle of drawings (usually when making layers visible-non visible, switching to different layers, or zooming in and out). Is this normal? If it isn't, how do I fix this?
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Yeah, basically in the middle of drawing it flashes black for a few seconds (usually prior to when this happens it would lag for a bit) and then goes back to normal. It's super annoying and I don't know what's causing this, I have no clue if this is supposed to happen when using the program and I'm wondering if this is normal.
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I dont know if this will help, but this happens to me too. Usually when I'm merging a ton of layers, applying a filter, or changing the image resolution. I think its just the program thinking/loading the changes you made for a minute before going back to normal.
Deus Ex GOTY black screen after Alt + Tab : Deusex
Main Post: Deus Ex GOTY black screen after Alt + Tab : Deusex
Deus Ex Black and Gold ICUE Rgb profile?
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I was wondering if anyone here knew of any good Corsair ICUE profiles? Started replaying the games while waiting for Cyberpunk and I'm really digging the aesthetic. I'd make one myself but I'm I'm horrible at the ICUE software.
Any help would be awesome
Top Comment: I was wondering if anyone here knew of any good Corsair ICUE profiles? Started replaying the games while waiting for Cyberpunk and I'm really ...
"Black anime and manga characters don't ex-"
Main Post: "Black anime and manga characters don't ex-"
wait, I thought, wait...